im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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