On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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