"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
