She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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