you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
