Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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