I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
