The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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