Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
