I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
