is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
