I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She needs sedatives and a leash
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
