I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
