I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
