I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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