"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
