So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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