i don't plan on having that self control this summer
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
