well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize