I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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