okay pat passed out under dana's car
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
