i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
