One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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