Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
