I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize