Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
