I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
