WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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