So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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