My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
