he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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