I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
