how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
