you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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