So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
