I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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