Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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