We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize