So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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