Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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