problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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