The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
