If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I need water and some morals
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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