Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
