Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
