I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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