So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
