Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just googled if crying burns calories
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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