and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
