I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
