she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
