Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
