we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You can't special order awesome
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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