Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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