Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
