don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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