toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
