marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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