i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
