The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I use my feet as sexual weapons
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm always down for nudity.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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