Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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