My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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