i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
