So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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