remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
