They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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