So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize